I’ll be happy when….

I’ve come to hate this phrase. For years this phrase would float through my brain, and I truly believed that it was true. It wasn’t until the the last couple of years that I’ve thrown this phrase out the window. Why am I basing my happiness on one moment in time when there are so many moments that are happening now that make me happy?

Sure, we could all use a little more money. Or maybe we want to enjoy our jobs a little bit more. However, the phrase I’ll be happy when… indicates that we’re waiting for something to occur to us. This is so backwards. We are in charge our lives. We are in charge of our happiness. Why are we waiting for these things to happen to us?

The other night my husband decided it was time for us to do something a little different as a family. My son usually hangs out in his room watching videos or he is outside with his friends. My husband is usually on the computer doing something. I’m usually up in my room doing something on the computer. The point is that we’re all in separate places, and he wanted us to do something together. So we did a Yatzee night. It was short and fun. It was the right amount of distraction to get us out of our little isolated bubbles. My son and I even followed it up with a few games of Mancala and Checkers. It was so simple, yet it brought us all together. What a happy moment. If I had waited for that moment to occur, it never would have happened. I have my wonderful husband to thank for that.

Too many times we say or think we’ll be happy when…

1. I leave this job and find something better, or

2. I have more money, or

3. I lose all the weight I gained, or

4. I have ________ item.

None of these things can occur without action of some kind. If you don’t like your job, figure out which kind of job would actually make you happy, and go find it. Don’t quit that job and go to another one that does the same thing (unless it’s the company you dislike instead of the job). Do your research and take a look at your values. Find the job that is a true fit for you, then go find it.

If you don’t have money, there is always a way to get more. Get another job. If you’re thinking you can’t get another one because you already work 40 hours a week, you need to remember that you have evenings and weekends available. The point of getting more money isn’t to be working forever; it’s to work to give you a little more money to ease the pressure. Or you can sell items in your home. If you’re struggling with debt, there is a good chance that some of the items in your home are part of the reason for your debt. Sell it. Get yourself feeling better financially, then work your way to buying your items (or new ones) when you feel better and can afford to pay cash. There is no money tree growing in the back yard. You must find a way to ease your financial burden.

If you want to lose weight, you can’t simply wish it away. The weight didn’t miraculously appear on your body, and it won’t miraculously disappear. You have to work hard for it. You must go to the gym and make better eating choices. This doesn’t mean that you have to be so strict that within 30 days your tired of doing it. It has to become a lifestyle. If that means that you can’t live without Milkduds, then don’t deprive yourself of them. Just don’t eat an entire movie-size box of them.

It ‘s very natural to think I’ll be happy when…. We just have to remind ourselves that when we say this to ourselves, we must come up with a plan to accomplish what will make us happy. And we must align these wishes with our priorities.

Good luck coming up with your plan.